Pat McGee & Me

This time of year always reminds me of Pat McGee and his band. They're a band out of Richmond, Virginia and I always had a thing for their music when I was in college. I can so clearly remember watching them play on College Ave in Blacksburg my senior year, and on the main stage at Senior Day the weekend before I graduated--standing there in the pouring rain and listing to "Shine" and "Rebecca". Now when I listen, it takes me back to my senior year at Tech and one song keeps coming into play as a part of my life just as it did then.

Mike was away doing Navy stuff (Nuke School, Power School, Prototype, etc...)and I was in Blacksburg, finishing up what was a heinous end to my college career. Whenever I was having one of "those"days , I would put in Shine by Pat McGee Band and just immerse myself in it--the melodies, the lyrics, and it all seemed to disappear for a little while. There was one song in particular that I would listen to off that album whenever missing Mike became a little too much, and I remember thinking "I can't wait for the day when we can be in one place together for more than a weekend". And here I am again, thinking the same thing, only on broader terms.

I was driving down the road today on my way to pick up Aiden from preschool when I found my Shine cd stuck in my cd case. Waxing sentimental, I popped it in and listened to "Shine" "Rebecca" and "Gibby" before landing on that song...and there I was thinking again about how much I wished I could be with him.

Deployments are different for every service member and every family member, and we all get through them different ways. Some go into survival mode, managing to get by one minute and one hour at a time, while others patientely bide their time, knowing that Homecoming is one day shorter than it was yesterday. I think that's the mode I'm in. Tomorrow will have been two months since Mike left. I'm two months wiser, two months more tired, and two months more sentimental about the moments and days that led up to his departure. Two months ago tonight we sat holding our children and just talking and laughing and dreading the inevitable, but I am not longing for that night. That night was 7 months away from when Mike would return. Tonight is just 5 months, and for that I am so grateful...

So Pat McGee managed to put into words and lyrics and melodies how I feel and I am transported back to Blacksburg everytime I hear it. I was so different then! 10 years ago next month will mark that day on College Avenue when I was just a few days away from graduating without any idea of what I was going to do after that. I really didn't care. I knew I wanted to just revel in that moment and I'm glad I did. I am such a different person now, but looking back, I'm exactly where I wanted to be then. Married to the most amazing man, mom to the most incredible children and more than happy. I'm content. I miss my Michael so much that there's a hole that can't and won't be filled until he comes back, but I'm ok, and I'll be ok. I've been cryptic long enough...here are the lyrics to "that" song...

As I lie here in bed, your smile fills my head
And I'm using this pen to talk to you, from a southern way
It's been weeks since I've seen you last
The time away from you ain't moving too fast
Wishing my summer away just to see you again
I'm there by your side, lookin in your eyes
Seeing you with me, what else could there be?
If I could get away I'd be there today
You'd be wearing that smile
Haven't see you for a while
I wake up everyday, go through the same routine
Go to work, come home, what does it all really mean?
Check the mail just hoping to find, another note from you could ease my mind
It's 5:15; I can picture you driving home from your same old scene
In five you'll hear the phone ringing,
have to settle for talking again
I can picture you now, you're standing outside your house
The breeze is blowing off your northern shore
Now I'm loving you more
I long for the days when there are no goodbyes
Wish I could see you, I'd wipe the tears from your eyes
Tell you everything's all right, lay you down
Say to you goodnight
I'm there by your side, lookin in your eyes
Seein you with me, what else could there be?
If could get away, I'd be there today
You'd be wearin that smile I haven't seen for a while
Haven't seen for a while...


By the way, you can check out Pat McGee Band at patmcgeeband.com.