By the Grace of God...

I pitched a FIT tonight. All over some stupid gold flower hairbow that went with Miss Devyn's ballet costume that was lost in the fathomless abyss that is her closet. It was bad, y'all. And Sweet Hubby called in the middle of said fit. Looking back on it now, I must have sounded like some crazed, mosquito infested buffoon as I was ranting and raving and spitting into the phone. At one point, I think Sweet Hubby said "I know. I understand" to which I answered, "Oh. DO YOU"? Ouch. I'm sorry honey. I know you understand. I was just being a class a jerk. We never did find that gaudy flower bow thing. We went to ballet, hung our heads low as we went in sans bow, only to find that Devyn's teacher had extras. God bless that girl. We still have to find the flower bow thing for her recital, but I'm honestly just thinking of fashioning something out of the floral department at Michael's. How hard can it be to jimmy up a gold flower bow thing with a big sparkly rhinestone in the middle?

I got to thinking tonight how I was raised in the presence of two very devout Southern women--my mother and my grandmother--and how they never really got angry a lot, but when they did--Oh Lord...the fits that were pitched. I was in a whole messa hurt watching my gram throw a hissy. It was not a pretty sight. I think I saw three. That was enough for my 21 years before she passed away. She was not a woman to be trifled with. Which got me thinking...I remember three fits from her, but countless ways she showed me her love for me and our family. When I was around 7, we went to the farm for Sunday dinner and everyone was having whitefish. I detest whitefish (except Cod--as long as it's fresh). I think I must have looked totally dejected at the announcement of fish for dinner...until she took me over to the oven and showed me what was in it...an individual serving of lasagna that she had made just for me. I felt so special, and so loved in that moment. I hope that's what Devyn and Aiden will remember of me when I'm no longer on this earth--that I pitched a few fits, but I had the most overwhelming love for them, and that hopefully, I took a lot of opportunities to make them feel special.

On a different note, I had someone ask me the other day, "What IS Southern, anyway"? Mercy. I nearly choked back tears when I heard that--what a sorrowful state of affairs, when someone has to ask that question. So incase anyone out there HAS wondered that, here's the quick and dirty:

Southern is not a location on a map. It is not a collection of states that formed and were once known as The Confederacy. Southern is, by all accounts, a state of mind and a way of life. It's chivalry on the part of a gentleman, and acting like a lady on the part of a woman--at ALL times--and YES, you CAN be a lady and still dance on a bar. It's learning your manners from the womb--Yes Ma'am and No Ma'am, Please, Thank You, Y'all Take Care, Come Back To See Us, Bless Your Heart, and Well, I Swanee. It's Sweet Iced Tea (and Hardee's Sweet Tea does NOT count), and Hoppin John and Mint Juleps and it's sitting out on the porch in the morning and the evening and just talking while the world goes by. It's not getting caught up in the world, but enjoying your little corner of it. It's having mints in your grandmama's purse, and Hu.Mi.Di.Ty. It actually being able to smell spring when it arrives in late April and listening to the Cicadas and June Bugs on august evenings. It's about family, and family, and family. It's back door friends and wood stoves and boys who grow up hunting and going to barn parties in high school. It's wanting to be just a little like Scarlett if you're a girl, and really wanting Rhett to show up at your door. It's about faith, and good old hymns and pot-luck suppers and warm, inviting homes. It's everything I grew up with...including a Daddy who pretty regularly will say, "Now looka yonder at that fella in that Corvette. Doen't he think he's in high cotton"? And a mama, when ever I would date someone would ask three questions:
1. Who are his people?
2. What's his daddy do?
3. Where do they go to service (church)?

If you're not thoroughly confused, here's a list that I found on the blog of someone who visited mine...she claims to be a yankee living in Tennessee, but I think it's only right that those of us lucky enough to be born and raised in the South adopt her as one of our own. Thanks, Nash, for the following. Love it!

Southern Livin'

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southern women know everybody's first name
:Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea," "sweet milk," and "light bread". Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. And "Light bread" is white bread.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."