DONE.

Warning: This post is intended to be a vent, and nothing more. It is not an attack on anyone, or any comments anyone has made to me. That said, enough said.

I am tired. I am done. I am tired and DONE. What, exactly am I tired and done OF? Well, let's just list it, shall we?

1. "Wow...this deployment thing must just suck for you".
Really? You think? No, it's actually fabulous.

2. " We just can't wait until Mike's home".
(and hearing that over, and over, and over again from the same people in a two day span). I want him home too. More than all of you combined.

3. "I don't know if you should be doing that".
(I've been managing this long...and with three deployments behind me, I can manage just find thank you).

4. "Can you call me? I have a huge problem and I really need someone to talk to about it".
(Great. I'm here for you. But understand that I might only have 10 minutes to talk before my kids need me. And don't get upset with me because I have to go).

5. "I know it must be hard, but at least you have the kids to keep you busy".
(Seriously? Is that supposed to help me in some weird way)?

6. " I would really appreciate it if you would talk to me about your problems, and not Mike. He doesn't need anymore stress".
(Wow. That's so RIGHT! How selfish I've been! Cause I'm just sittin here riding a great big cream puff of JOY for seven months without any stress at all and I can't WAIT for more time to try and do everything on my OWN).

7. And this one is my absolute favorite:
" How often do you talk to Mike"?
(I talk to him for about 15 minutes once a day).
"WOW! You're so lucky!"
(Yes, I get that we are very fortunate in that regard, thank you).
" Oh, I just pray for him every single day. He's always on my mind".

Period. End.

Wonderful. I covet prayers for my husband, but there is a huge, huge part of me that wants to say to these people (and I've heard that literally 6 times in the last 2 days), "I appreciate that so much, thank you. Are you praying for my children? Are you thinking of them waking them up in the middle of the night crying for their daddy? Are you thinking of me when I'm completely overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of the day because I'm just emotionally spent and don't know how I can keep this up for more, MORE months? Are you thinking of us then? Are you praying for US? I want to just scream that at those people.

My parents visited last weekend. I got to hear for four days how many people at home were asking about Mike, praying for Mike, wondering how Mike was, hoping Mike was ok, concerned for Mike, I GET IT. I'm overjoyed, truly overjoyed that Mike is getting so much emotional support. I flat out asked my parents if anyone at home is asking about me and the kids, praying for us, concerned for us....they honestly got it in that moment. The answer was 'no' and they understood.

Make no mistake, our soldiers and sailors and airmen need ALL the emotional support and prayers they can get. I have never, ever been in the position any of them are in and I don't envy them at all, BUT...

there are wives and children left at home who are forgotten. In praying for our troops, in putting that yellow ribbon on the back of our cars, we must remember that there is no ribbon that says "Pray for the families of our troops". There is, in most cases, no pinch hitter for the temporarily single parents that exist, or even the permanently single parents that have been created by this war. There are children who will wake up on their birthday with the missing link of having a parent missing. One of my children will experience that on this deployment. There are couples who will be separated, likely for more than the first time, on their anniversary. We will join that group for the third time through this deployment.

Everytime a ship returns here from a deployment, it is usually televised. Everytime, I cry. I don't cry for the one coming home. I cry for the one standing on the pier who has had to carry the weight of maintaining a home for their sailor to come to. I cry for the burden that has been lifted, for the little children who will have a "whole" world again, for the reconnection that will happen. I cry because I know that while they are coming home, somewhere else, there is someone who is just leaving to replace them, and their wife is hugging him goodbye, hoping to take in enough of the scent of him so that it will last more than half a year. I cry for that mother who holds her babies at night, even if her babies are eight and four when they don't understand their circumstances. I cry, because I understand.

Ok, enough. Vent done. No more.