The perfect hero

This is the week that tests my humanity and sanity. Truly. In the past five days, I have:

1. Been diagnosed with anemia
2. Bought four baby gifts, and three birthday gifts
3. Planned one birthday party (for my sweet boy)
4. Sat through a nor'easter yesterday and LOVED every second of it
5. Paid a plumber a good sized bill to fix a pipe that flooded my garage
6. Seen the most gorgeous pictures of my friend's honeymoon in Tuscany (hello...SO going to Montepulciano)
7. Come down with a massive head cold-allergy-sinuses of death thing

WHAT IS GOING ON!?!!! Done now. Perfectly, happily done now with all the junk. The junk has my permission to end. NOW.

So here I sit, on a Friday night contemplating a cup of tea from the tea arsenal we brought back from England and watching the second season of Friends on dvd.

You know, I use this blog as a vent--a way to express my feelings, thoughts and emotions surrounding this whole deployment. However, it's all about me. I rarely have expressed what my husband goes through, because honestly, I don't have any idea and it pains me to think about it. I can't imagine...I can't fathom not seeing our children for ten months. I can't process not holding them and having them hug me back, or reading my paper in the morning. It must be so incredibly hard; harder than anything I've ever been through and I think that needed stating.

Mike, I know you read my blog and I need you to know how much I appreciate everything you do for us. I appreciate the sacrifices, daily, monthly and by the minute that you make for our family in order to give us what we need. Thank you for doing this job that at times is miserable and unimaginably ridiculous. You are, and always will be, my best friend and my most perfect hero.

Buy something made with love...

Buy handmade this holiday season and support an artisan or craftsman!



My handmade website:
www.carrycarrie.etsy.com

Enjoy!

Sweatah Weathah...

I love, love, LOVE Autumn, Fall, whatever you want to call it. I LOVE IT. I love the cooler weather, the crispness in the air, and everything that comes along with it. However, I have some new favorites that just happen to coincide with the season. Because I'm a little bored, and a lot tired, I'm going to list them tonight...

1. The new Ralph Lauren fragrance, Notorious. Ralph and I have a thing, in that, the man fits me. His jeans fit me better than any jeans I've ever, ever owned (and that's not an easy task). His swimsuits look better on me than any other, and his perfumes just smell like a can of heaven exploded in my bathroom (which happened once, when I accidently broke a bottle of Glamorous and our bathroom smelled like Heaven exploded, for like, oh a MONTH). I LOVE RALPH. And I love this new perfume, Notorious.

2. Cinnamon Swirl Folgers.

3. Mad Men. Seriously. The best show on tv. Period.

4. My other favorite new fragrance, Burberry London. Smells just like London does. Honestly.

5. The fact that I have now learned how to make Burgundy Beef Stew.

6. Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks.

7. Fuzzy slippers, like the ones I found today at Target, even though I'll probably always be a socks girl.

8. Aiden's new slippers. Giant, white Speed Racer racecars on his feet. Wearing them, he's either going to fall over from being bottom heavy or if he goes outside in them, ducks will notice and follow him around like he's their Mother Ship.

9. Igor. GO SEE THIS MOVIE! Best kids (and adult) movie I've seen in a very, VERY long time. FABULOUS!

10. The fabrics I've found for my handbags. The most gorgeous ones I've seen in a long, long time!

11. My renewed love for fabrics and design and creating. I have an internal need to create--I've always known that, but I put it away for a long time, thinking that I needed to focus on being a mama (and I did, and I love it). However, feeding this need I have to create something with my hands that incorporates my heart and soul and is very, very me, fulfills a place that I hadn't filled for a very long time. If you're so inclined, check me out at www.carrycarrie.etsy.com.

Here's to hot cider, fuzzy socks and slippers, Ralph Lauren, and Sweatah Weathah (lifted from Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph from an SNL sketch)...

The North isn't all bad...wink, wink...

My sweet friend Nash sent me this! How cool is she?!! You can check out her blog at

www.ayankeeintennessee.blogspot.com

This doll is proof that good things do, from time to time, come out of the north! She has got to be one of the coolest people I've never met--in person anyway. Thanks Nash!

213

Today is day 213, and the seven month marker of this deployment. Seven months ago today, I kissed my husband.I watched my children hug his neck tighter, I think, than they ever had before. I looked in his eyes and told him that he was going to be ordered to do a lot of things but his one order from me was to "Come home". I stood helplessly as he tried to keep it together while he held his children. I listened as one of his chiefs told me kindly as they walked away, "We'll take care of him ma'am". I heard myself respond, "You better". I held my two sweet little ones as they crumbled in the parking lot. I felt the cutting wind on my face as we walked to the car, and I drove away slowly, staring at the jet that would take my husband, my best friend, away from me for a time.

Looking back over the past eleven years that I have been with this incredible man, I sometimes think how my life could have been. See, I was that girl who came from a small town, who probably, if following due course, was never going to leave her town. I was going to raise my children and marry the safety net. The safety net has a name, and he was one of my closest friends for many years. He fit the bill...on paper. On paper, he was everything that would provide a good life. He came from a wealthy background, had a good family upbringing, had a good education and had his future laid out for him. I would never want for anything. But I did.

I wanted unpredictability. I wanted adventure. I wanted the most ground-breaking, passionate love that I had ever experienced. One man held that, and one man did not.
Enter Mike.

From the get-go, Mike was unlike anyone I had ever dated. He was daring, comical, gracious, and grabbed life by the horns. He was everything that Safety Net was not. He presented a life that would be changing, swirling, adventurous--a roller coaster versus a merry-go-round. I fell hard for the roller coaster. The thing is, when you take a ride on a merry-go-round, once is usually enough, and you're done. When you take a ride on a roller coaster, with it's speed and dips and hills and crests, you want to go again and again and again. Once is never enough, at least it's not for me.

Marrying Mike was probably one of the tremendously scary things I have ever done. I knew that it would mean countless days and nights apart, navigating a marraige where we would be apart more than together. It would mean learning how to not just be a wife, but a Navy wife--something infinitely more insane than just being a wife. I didn't know what was going to happen to us, but looking back on it now, I realize that I didn't want to marry a safety net--I wanted to find safety in someone amazing. And now, even when he's 8000 miles away, I've felt safer than I ever have in my life because I found safety IN him, not BECAUSE of him.

Seven months. 213 days. 5112 hours. Only a bit more to go...

A Whooped Cookie...

...is exactly what I am. I have been through nearly every possible event during this deployment. I've survived projectile child-vomiting, fevers, raging nightmares, tornadoes, tornado warnings, a tropical storm/hurricane, varmints, critters, soccer season, ballet season, one vacation by myself with both kiddles, and countless other things. I had hoped I'd seen the worst of it. Not so. Sickness. Illness. Massive allergies. Me. Ugh.

It happened Friday night when I started feeling icky. I was pretty sure it was allergies--I suffer from SUCKY seasonal allergies--but when I woke up yesterday morning, my head weighed more than my body. Mis.Er.Able. I spent the whole day in bed, except for the 40 minutes the kiddles and I loaded in the car and went to Costco specifically to buy Claritin which usually helps. Popped one while standing in the line waiting to pay for the thing. It. Didn't HELP!!!!!! How is that possible? The one thing that always works, failed to work, on the one day when both kids were at home and wanted attention and I couldn't give it to them. I tried, and I kept trying but I knew things were going downhill quickly when Sweet Girl looked at me and said, "Ohhhh Mama. Just go to bed". So I did that, and then I did that again on Sunday. And this morning after taking Aiden to school. And it's only 2:30 pm. I'm definitely coming down with something...

Oh...the humanity...

Open House...

Got this idea from my buddy Nash. Thanks girly!

Listening to… Wedding Crashers, the movie.

Thankful for…my dear girlfriends--my sisters! My sweet girl who looked after me today in my yucky state of sick.

In the kitchen…two fish, Rockstar and Irene.

Sewing… CarryCarrie Distinctive Handbags. Check out my website at www.carrycarrie.etsy.com.

Reading… Royal Affairs: A Romp Through The Extramarital Adventures That Rocked the British Monarchy (Leslie Carroll),A Covenant Marriage (Gary Chapman) and as always, my Bible

In the yard/garden…grass...bunnies, squirrels and doves.

Praying for… my love, my children, and November 4th.

On the iPod today…Big and Rich, Pat McGee Band, Fighting Gravity, Blue, Westlife, Matt Nathanson

Thinking about…my whole head aching,my nose not working properly, and how I hope Qatar is pretty cool...

Looking forward to...NOVEMBER!

Hoping…my head doesn't explode and we can make it to church tomorrow.

Freedom

I stay out of political discussions regarding this war. I have many emotions and feelings regarding what we're doing in Iraq, and they have been magnified greatly over the past seven months based on my family's very personal connection to one serving there. Tonight, I had the experience of describing to my daughter why her class observed a moment of silence...why the flags were flown today at half-staff...and when she asked me why some people would be so awful to do what they did to people who didn't do anything to them, I didn't have an answer. But then, my sweet girl responded:

"That's what my daddy's over in Iraq for isn't it? He's trying to protect people who don't have anyone to protect them from the bad people." Before I had a chance to answer, she said, "I hope my daddy know how good he is and how much I'm sure those people and kids in Iraq need him and his friends. I hope they get their freedom soon".

And isn't that what it's all about? I know there are lots of people in this country who oppose what's going on regarding our involvement in the Middle East, but I wish people could understand that when they fail to support the sailors' and soldiers' missions that they are actually failing to support the troops. You can't have it both ways.

In 1964, my daddy returned from two years in the Army in Germany. His tour had ended and he left Munich two weeks before his batallion reported to Vietnam. He landed at JFK Airport (back in the day when you actually walked from the plane across the tarmac to the terminal) and walking in his uniform, thrilled to be back on American soil, he felt something hit him. And then something else. And then something else. It was rotten tomatoes. And rotten potatoes. And corn cobs. And rotten melons. He walked through it, all of it pelting him, protestors spitting at him, calling him a murderer, a liar, and a coward. He said nothing. He held his head high and walked through it. He's only told me about it once, and not since then, but I know it damaged him. How could it not? How could that not scar someone?

I wish people who are not in the position of the military family could walk a mile in our shoes. I wish protestors could experience not holding their babies, their little children for 6,7,9, 12,15 months...or more. I wish they could live the life we live, not because I don't think they shouldn't protest, but perhaps they would change their tone. Perhaps they would know the pain we feel, perhaps they would understand the sacrifice we make...but I support them. My husband supports them, because he fights for them. His guys fight for them, and our family sacrifices for them. I just hope they can truly appreciate it, and appreciate the freedom they have to do so.

I'll never forget the searing fear and pain I felt on this day seven years ago. I remember so clearly the attitude of Americans was to get the bastards at any cost. But when that doesn't happen as quickly or as swiftly as we all would like, we bail.

Anyway...we need your support. The servicemen and women need your support--in every form. The families need your love and your help. After all, we're just doing our jobs.

Varmints...

Main Entry:
var·mint
Pronunciation:
\ˈvär-mənt\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
alteration of vermin
Date:
circa 1539
1: an animal considered a pest; specifically : one classed as vermin and unprotected by game law

Let me note at this point that we do not live in the country. You know the country (otherwise pronounced "cuuuntrrryyy" by good southern folk)...it's the place where the stars are so bright you can nearly reach out and grab them in deep, dark, cuuuuntryyy night...it's the place where the homemade lemonade is SO good you can basically chew the sugar that's in it...it's the place, that hallowed ground, where people sit on their porch on a swing and watch the day yawn into the evening dusk, and it's the place that comes with names that you only hear in books like Spoon River Anthology. It is ALSO the place where VARMINTS reside. I grew up with varmints like possums (and no--it's not o'possums), minks, foxes, weasels, beavers, ground hogs, and BIG VARMINTS--deer, bear, wildcats and the like.

However, there's something strange in the water here in the CITY. We. Have. Varmints.

Last week, while sitting on the porch in the evening with my neighbor, a FOX a-scampered down our street. Apparently, he's out every night just roaming the neighborhood. Doing what? Looking for chickens in Ma Kettle's hen house down yonder? I walked out three nights ago to get something out of my car and a skunk was staring at me. Needless to say, I sat in my car until Pepe decided to mosey on down to another yard. And last night, I was peeking out the front window when I saw some BEHEMOTH animal varmint cat puma fox thing wander onto my neighbor's porch across the street. It was dark. It was large. It was a dark, large mammal and it was nearby. I watched in a stunned stupor when my neighbor pulled into her driveway and honestly, it was like something out of a B movie--there I sit at 9:30 last night talking to the window: "No! Don't walk up on that porch! There's a critter on that porch"! However, said critter had apparently left already, because my neighbor walked into her house, unharmed.

So, anyway. We have varmints. And yes, I do know those places I spoke of like the ones in Spoon River Anthology...my daddy grew up in Flatwoods...my mom lived in Sugar Tree Hollow (pronounced, with pride, "holler"), my grandma was from (beautiful) Goshen Pass, and my grandaddy came from Eagle Rock. I am a proud conglomerate of all of those. Holler!

Save the drama for your mama...

I have a sign on me, I'm convinced. It says, "If there is drama involved in your life, lay it at my feet because I will swim in it". Seriously. It's either Neighborhood Drama, Life Long Friend Drama, and to add to the vat o' drama, there was Husband Drama yesterday; nothing serious--he injured his ankle while at work and it was all swollen and elevated last night. Still though, that counts I think.

Our neighborhood is having issues. I am friends with two women in our neighborhood, however, they are not friends with each other. Apparently, there was a throw-down at the bus stop today (I wasn't present for, but WOW did I get the 411 on it). Then, after I got home from dropping Aiden at school, one member of the throw down showed up on my door to tell me her side, while my mobile phone was ringing--the other member of the throw down was calling to tell me her side. Ho.Ly.Smokes. I left high school, oh, about 15 years and 3 months ago. Enough!

On top of that, my closest childhood friend is going through some major relationship drama and I hear about it. A lot. Not that I don't want to help her, and listen to her, but it's getting to the point where it's a bit much.

This is one of the joys of deployment. Not only does everything hit the preverbial fan, but the fan is buried in it, and can't rotate. It's madness. It's also expected. With every deployment, it's basically six plus months of Murphy's Law. However, enough complaining. Below are some good things that have happened this week:

1. Devyn and Aiden love school, and I'm so elated for them!
2. I am not yet tired of making lunches.
3. The new 90210 was not as bad as I thought it would be.
4. Sarah Palin.
5. Sarah Palin.
6. Sarah Palin.
7. Hurricane Gustav spared Nawlins.
8. I found a Gymboree outlet close by. Must.Stay.Away...
9. I got all the laundry finished. Almost...
10. The dvd player is working again!

And to end on a funny note, Aiden introduced me to two new little friends in his class on Tuesday. Two sweet, lovely little girls. He asked me in front of them if he could have a playdate with them and I said we'd have to talk to their mommies. They jumped in and said ,"Oh no, we want to have a sleepover with Aiden"! Again, I said I'd have to talk to their mommies. So we got in my car to drive home and I asked him, "What do you think Mama would say to you having a sleepover with two girls"? He said, "You'd probably say that's not a good idea". I told him that was right, and then I asked:

"What do you think Daddy would say"?

"Daddy would say...Way to go"!

The MOST wonderful time of the year...

I've been singing all day. Scratch that. I've been singing since last Monday when the end was blissfully in sight. And now it's here! The MOST wonderful time of the year!

THEY'RE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!

I love, LOVE being with my children. I love it. I love summer for the relaxed feeling, the lack of schedule, the lazy days and heading to the beach. However, I LOVE Back to School. I love shopping for new lunchboxes, bookbags, the school supply list, packing lunches and writing little love notes to the kiddles on them and yes, I even love waking up at 7 am. However, there is that pang of melancholy that my babies are growing up, one school year at a time...

Devyn will begin third grade tomorrow and I still so clearly remember her first day of preschool and peeling her little fingers off the doorjamb. Here we are on the eve of Girlfriend stepping into a new frontier of elementary school. To top that, she trusted me enough to pull a baby tooth tonight (note: this was not a pain-staking process--said tooth was hanging on in there by nothing more than air, I'm convinced). She is growing up and quicker than I'd like.

Aiden will start pre-k tomorrow and is THRILLED. He can't wait. He picked out his clothes tonight and chose khaki shorts with little green frogs on them and a green t-shirt with dinosaurs on it. He's ready, to say the least!

With that, here's to the new school year!