A sight for tired eyes

This just proves there are handsome sights in the desert...

Mike, you just know what I need...thank you! I love you, love you, love you!

The Royal Navy Ball in London

Conversations with a four year old

Aiden is completely conversational. And in being so, he tends to use these big words that he understands, but takes completely out of context. Take this morning for example (ok, 5 minutes ago):

In talking with the kids about getting a dog, I showed them some pictures on the akc website of certain breeds and they told me which ones they liked. Here's how it went:

A: I like that little dog. He's very available.

Me: Available? What do you mean sweetie?

A: He's available! You know!

Me: Yep, he is available--we might get a dog like this one.

A: NO! YOU KNOW! AVAILLLLABLEEEE.

Me: Ok. What?

A: For Tuxie (our cat). He's available.

Me: (totally stumped now). Ok. So he's available for Tuxie. What does that mean A?

A: Dogs chase cats. It's what they dooooo. He's available to chase Tuxie, although he probably wouldn't because he's completed.

Me: Completed? You mean he wouldn't chase Tux because he's finished? (WHAT?!!)

A: Ughhhhh. He's completed Mommy. Like how he runs in races and jumps over things like on that show you watch on tv that you made me watch?! (Note: I don't make him watch anything--once, when I thought he might be interested in something, I lightly suggested he sit down with me and watch it. And he did. And he liked it!)

Me: Ohhhh...you mean the canine competition on Animal Planet. Riiight. He competed.

A: Yep. He's available and he's completed.

The thing is, I LOVE having conversations with Aiden. He can talk anyone into anything, or he can talk to anyone about anything. He loves people and most of the time enjoys talking, except if he's on the phone. He doesn't dig that, and I think it's because he can't be himself--he's animated and lively and I think he belives the phone takes something away from that quality in him. Still though, he's a riot. He's definitely our talker, our conversationalist, and Devyn is absolutely our entertainer. She communicates best that way, I think...either dancing or picking out a tune on the piano or being her silly self.

Either way, they're both such little blessings. I thank God every day that He made me their mama. Ending with a few sweet pictures of them that I just love...

November 2003 January 2005 July 2007

Ahhh...Spring Break

There is something loverly and wonderful about Spring Break. Just the name alone conjures up images of bunnies chomping merrily on green grass, bluebirds singing while waving happily to the passing sparrow and my neighbors mowing their yards for the first time of 2008. I LOVE SPRING BREAK! While all the above is wonderful and accurate (ok, except for the super chipper birds), there are other things I adore about Spring Break...

1. Sleeping in until 8:15 am and leisurely getting my cinnamon swirl folgers in my favorite coffee cup.
2. Watching cartoons on tv until odd hours in our pjs with Devyn and Aiden.
3. Not wearing makeup for a solid week and not caring!
4. Catching up--for five days--on Days of Our Lives--and then completely losing track again.
5. Cleaning the house at a steady pace--and not in a mad rush.

However, there are things about this Spring Break that are very prevalent:
1. I miss laying my head on Mike's chest while he watches March Madness.
2. I miss watching the spring Red Sox games with him...
3. I miss observing Devyn & Aiden playing soccer with their daddy in the backyard.
4. I miss smelling the grill in use at dusk while Mike fixes the chicken, or steak, or chops. It's not the same when I do it.
5. I miss Mike. I miss him ribbing me about the tv I choose to watch, watching him tucking the kids in at night, and seeing him walk through the garage door in the evening and seeing the kids run to greet him.

I tell Aiden when he asks "how long" that we have to go through Spring and then Summer. Well, it's Spring and we've made it this far! It's a small victory, but one I'm very proud of. In 5 days, we'll have gone the longest apart that we have in 6 years. Six years! Six years ago at this time, Devyn was just starting to call me mama (she mastered "daddy" long before)...we were on the verge of moving to a new country...she was this curly headed little doll who loved banana pudding and squash and apples. She's still that same little doll, but we've added a prince, two different cars, a different home, a cat, we've visited 5 countries and come home.

What a crazy, amazing, severly blessed ride...and I wouldn't have it any other way...

Pictures for my hubby

Mike, the kids and I took these tonight...I asked Devyn to take a picture of my hair now that it's a new coiffure (fancy French word, take note), and then they both wanted a picture, and of course Dramatic Devyn had to get in on the action. Enjoy! We love and miss you madly!

The 'do

the beauty

if you look close enough, you can make out the peanut butter

Breathe...

Sometimes I have to remember that life is about breathing. I know that sounds so primary, but at the core of it all, it's just about breathings...taking slow breaths during the happy, wonderful times and just soaking everything in and enjoying it all, and then trying not to hypervenilate during the times when you just want to collapse into a ball and roll into the corner. As women bringing children into the world, we're reminded that everything will go so much easier and less painful if we make a concious decision to breathe, because at times the pain is so great we can't think of anything else. At other times, we're reminded to breathe because we're holding our breath like a little child at Christmas... waiting to rush to the tree and discover all the gifts waiting there. We tear through them without taking a rest, and then at that moment of exhalation when we're through, we look around with complete disbelief, wondering where that time went to and looking forward to it again with desperate anticipation, only to sit in the midst of the letdown.

At this point, I've taken a breath and I'm just submerged in cold water. Sometimes I feel like I'm swimming against the current, struggling to just keep up and other times I'm in the midst of the waterfall, plummeting faster than the water.

I suppose I shouldn't be so dramatic...Easter has been a tough time of year for me for a while now, and especially now that Mike is gone. I've said many times that Mike teaches me how to breathe--to take one moment at a time and not get ahead of myself, and I feel like I'm relearning that lesson every day. I honestly feel myself catching my breath sometimes--it's just gotten that literal. A lot of people have told me they're upset with me for NOT calling them to help. What am I supposed to call them for? The mundane? The everyday? I get that these people want to be helpful and I understand that. They ARE helpful--just by telling me that. In all honesty, I just manage to do the everyday stuff and handle things as they come my way. If I can't handle trying to fix my microwave, if I get too dependent on people, then I think I'll become rather bored. I need challenges to keep me occupied--to keep my mind busy. Mike says he's working a lot because otherwise he'd sleep all the time he's off. That, I understand. You have to keep yourself busy--your mind busy--in order to not lose your mind.

In doing that, I do remind myself to take one step at a time, one day at a time. Today marks 5 weeks and 1 day...I think. 5 weeks, 1 day less...only a lot more to go.

Breathing...

The Woodwork...

Why is it that the moment a deployment begins, the cracks in the woodwork appear in the form of everybody needing something...and everyone does not even remotely involve Mike, the kids, or me? There are definitely times I wish I could go back to that deployment when Devyn was 16 months old and there was no one who needed something, other than her. Those were a blissful 4 months, even though I was sick the entire deployment. Now, the phone rings almost all the time...or an email is received...and I welcome the distraction, but at some level, I just want to scream LEAVE ME ALONE! It's not my business...that I love and would welcome anything dealing with that. It's other stuff...school stuff, science fair stuff (and yeah, that's mandatory--um, hello? she's in second grade), church stuff, and yes, I love doing church stuff, but honestly, I'm just not going to be there every time the door is open. I will be available when my schedule allows it, and if I need to just sit and rest and relax, I'm going to do that. Other things are just going to have to get done when they get done.

What really gets me is the people who expect something who have no clue how a military life, much less a deployment works. I am not available all the time. I have two priorities--Devyn and Aiden. If other things get done along the way,then that's just a bonus. I have 80 billion things to do everyday that just revolve around maintaining our home and children. I honestly just have a lot of things that I'm at the point of not doing that I've volunteered to help for because I can't give what is required. Is that quitting? It may be. And I know that everyone has things that go on every day and that everyone has priorities. I understand that. However, in a lot of cases, I just want to say, "Give me a break". I will do my best and that will have to be good enough. If it's not, then there's nothing I can do.

Ok, vent is officially over. There won't be too much of that. On to less venting, more smiling. :)

Tuesday Musings

I don't have a lot to write tonight, so here are some Carrieisms to amuse you with...

1. There are few things in life that good, authentic pasta cannot fix.
2. Crosswords are wonderful, but always better when done with someone you love.
3. Never underestimate the power of good wine, and good coffee.
4. Dessert is overrated.
5. There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women (courtesy of Madeleine Albright and found on my Starbucks cup from today).
6. Disney World IS the happiest place on earth.
7. Thanks to Dancing With The Stars, I now have a thing for Cristian De La Fuente and I don't have a CLUE who that is.
8. Life continues only, I'm convinced, because parents go into their children's bedrooms at night, they see them sleeping and like magic, the little rotten ones have transformed into the sweetest angels, and we parents suddenly have no memory of EVER having a rotten one, because in that moment, that sweet angel has NEVER been rotten.
9. Green and Blacks Organic Chocolate is what the angels eat in Heaven. It's just THAT good.
10. I can now fix a non-working microwave, a broken alarm clock and a constantly running toilet. I am neither electrician or plumber.
11. My favorite two places on earth are both parkbenches; one in Regents Park in London in front of the Boating Lake, and the other in Paris behind Notre Dame in a gated garden.
12. My favorite book is Wuthering Heights.
13. My favorite song is In My Life by The Beatles.
14. My favorite designer...HOW do you pick ONE? Ralph Lauren and Dana Buchman.

Ending tonight...Devyn has a dr's appointment in the morning to take care of the dermatitis above her lip. The poor sweetie...it looks awful, like she's burned it on something-badly. I managed to slough off all the icky skin tonight and coat it in Neosporin Lip Treatment, but that hasn't worked so far...hopefully it will be better by Easter!